Beyond the Shuffle: Tarot, Life & Everything In Between

The Question

• Adrienne Amari • Season 1 • Episode 28

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How important do you think the question that you ask the cards actually is?

I used to believe that how you worded the question you asked the cards was the most important thing. But after years of pull cards, and thousands of readings done, I've... changed my mind.

In this episode we look at why the question might not be the big make it or break aspect we're often told it is.


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SPEAKER_00

How important do you think the question is when it comes to reading Tarot? Hi there, and welcome to Beyond the Shuffle, a podcast where we explore this wild ride of the human experience through the lens of Tarot. I'm Adrienne Amari, your host, guide, and lover of asking questions. So settle in, open your mind, and let's go beyond the shuffle. Over the years, I've seen a lot of different information about asking the right question to the tarot and how important your question is. And because when I first started learning tarot, I thought the question was like the be all to end all, the make it or break it part of the tarot reading. And through many years of experience and hundreds and hundreds of readings, I've kind of loosened my grip on that. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about the questions that we ask the cards and how important the wording actually is. And if you're learning tarot in any capacity, I'm sure you've seen at least one resource that tells you you can't ask yes or no questions, that you have to ask open-ended questions, and that there are certain ways that it needs to be worded, or it's not a good question, it's not powerful, you're not going to get a clear answer. And while I can agree to that, to a very small extent, I don't think it's really as important as so many people would lead us to believe. Sometimes people come to a tarot reading not really knowing what they want to ask. They know how they feel, they know where they feel stuck, they know what area of life they maybe want to focus on. But in my experience, a lot of people don't come with a specific laid-out question. And you can argue that it's the job of the tarot reader to form that question with them, but that just takes time that we don't need to spend. So I don't think it's the question that's so important, it's the inquiry. It's really knowing what somebody is coming to a reading for, what they want to talk about, where they're feeling stuck or confused or need guidance or clarity. And while a good question can help you get to the heart of that matter, knowing what they actually want to get out of the reading is far more important than how you're wording the question itself. Because a lot of people who come for tarot readings, they don't sit and learn about the art of questions for the cards. So they come with questions like, is this promotion going to be good for me? Is my relationship going to improve? Am I ever going to meet someone? And while there is a small group of people who really just want that yes, no, quick, easy answer, a lot of the people, at least the people that I read for, are looking for something deeper. It's not so much of is this going to happen, but they can't see a clear path or a clear way through. So the question or the inquiry really becomes, how can I have this in my life? What would my life potentially look like if we went down this road? What energy is moving through my life or what is keeping me stuck and how can I overcome it? Because people ask questions about areas of life where they want movement, they want change, they want something to happen, or they want validation. And so again, it's not so much the question that's important, it's the intention and it's the actual inquiry. And as tarot readers, it's okay to ask questions, it's okay to get clarity, it's okay to see what really they want to get out of your time together. Now, I am coming at this from a perspective of I like my tarot readings with clients to be more of a conversation. I want to learn about them, I want to see where they're coming from so that we can really pinpoint the areas that we need to. So sometimes I will suggest questions, or I'll suggest, did you want to look into this specific area? Do you want to see what's holding you back from really getting this? Did you want to see what the potential here is? But I don't go and reframe the whole question, do the reading all over again as it ebbs and flows. Now, again, my style is very conversational. I like to ask questions, I like to see how people react. I like them to share what they are comfortable or want to share, because sometimes a big part of a tarot reading is allowing someone to be seen and heard exactly as they are. Sometimes it's allowing them to process. And I know there are readers who prefer to pull the cards, say their spiel, and then do questions after, which is a completely valid way to do things. And if that's a style you like, by all means go for it. But if you're more like me and you want more flow and conversation, then conduct your readings in that way. There's no harm and no foul. I also like to check in to make sure that what I'm saying resonates with where they are because I don't want to go off on a tangent where I'm wasting their time talking about something that's not related. So little check-ins can be so helpful. I have a lot of tarot students who are afraid to ask questions during the reading where they think that they're supposed to be all-knowing and all-powerful, and that's how I used to be. I used to think I had to have all the answers and that I shouldn't ask questions because that would mean I didn't know it all. But as a tarot reader, your job is to interpret the cards. It's not to know everything about someone's life. I also think it's worth mentioning or considering that everything we do is filtered through our own brain and therefore our own experiences and biases. And sometimes if we're not checking in to see if a reading resonates or if the explanation that we're offering makes sense and they can follow and understand, then there's a chance that the person on the other side is missing some of the point or some of the message. And that's not because we're not good at interpreting the cards, but we have to remember that everyone thinks and works differently. So we need to meet people where they are so that we can deliver the best, most powerful, most meaningful messages. And that comes through asking questions. I also think, too, if someone's coming to a tarot reading and they're willing to be open and vulnerable and want to talk about a specific area of life or a challenge or a situation that they're going through, if we get so hung up on how they're asking the question, that can actually make people a little bit defensive and a little bit closed off. Nobody wants to feel like they're doing it wrong. And I don't know, if I were sitting with someone and they said, well, we can't ask that question, let's ask this question instead, or let's word it this way. For me, that would make me build up a wall. And I would be like, Why do we have to be so pedantic about this? Because it's not like the universe doesn't understand intention and energy. The universe doesn't need specific words or correct phrasing to know how the flow of energy needs to work or the messages that need to come through. Now, in the same vein, I will say that it is nice to have a little bit of a focus. So while the question doesn't have to be overly grammatically correct and 100% specified, we do find that general questions yield general results, and more specific questions can yield better, more specific readings and results. Which again, going back to my reading style, is why I like an opening conversation. What are you here for? What do you want to talk about today? Tell me a little bit about what's going on. Letting people tell you why they're there, tell you what they are curious about, tell you where they want to explore without the structure of the perfect question builds rapport, it builds trust, and it builds flow in your readings. And if someone asks a very generic general question, you can always get more specific if you feel that will give them a better reading. So for example, I get a lot of people who are like, Oh, I really want to look into my love life. Well, I don't know this person from a hole in the wall, so I don't know what their love life is like. And sure, I can just pull cards and see what comes up, but if I have a little more context, we can get such a better reading. So I might say something like, That's awesome. Can you tell me a bit about your love life? What's going on? Are you single? Are you in a relationship? I can get a few more details and then figure out the questions that they're really wanting to ask and what we want to look into to go forward. And I think it's really natural to ask questions as you go. So again, we'll go back to the romance example because I actually love love and relationship readings. I feel like readers are either super for or super against them, but I am 100% super for them. And let's say they tell me that they're looking for love, they've been single for a long time, and they're really hoping to meet someone. My first question usually is, do you know what's holding you back from meeting someone? Sometimes they say yes, usually they say I'm not really sure, even though deep down they probably kind of are. So that's a great place to start. What's holding us back? What's blocking that energy of connection? So we can dig a little bit into that and see where it takes us. Then when we know where we're blocked, we also want to know how to overcome it. So we'll pull cards on that. And maybe they're curious what kind of match would be good for them. So we can look into the type of person that would be a good match, that would be a higher self match, I suppose. We can look at things like where can we focus our energy to make more flow come into our love life and hopefully move things along. That's not necessarily a great, succinct, straightforward question, but the meaning behind it can be so deep, so meaningful, and so profound because it gives them actionable guidance, something they can take and do something with. And that leans very well into my next point, is that I think a lot of people start to hyperfocus on the question because there are so many readers out there that don't actually answer the question. And I'm sorry if someone's like, oh, it doesn't really answer the question. This is what the cards want to tell you, that is a skill gap. If you've asked a question with intention, with focus, and you're getting something totally out in left field, you just don't really know how to interpret those cards. And that's not a criticism because it's happened to me where I'm like, I don't know why this is saying this. And sometimes you have to talk it out and work your way through, but it is always relatable. And I'm not sure if I've told this story on the podcast before, but I'm gonna tell it because it blows my mind every time I think about it. Now I was scrolling through TikTok and there was a tarot reader doing a live, and I just paused to see kind of what was going on. And the person in the comments had asked the question, what do I need to know about buying a new house? Because they were house hunting and having some difficulty. And the tarot reader pulled the tower, they pulled the five of wands, they pulled something else. They can't remember what card it was. But the first thing she said was that someone was out to get them. Now I'm sorry, this person's question was, what do I need to know about buying a new home? And the answer to that is someone is out to get you? Like, come on, let's be serious here. If you think about buying a new home, the tower is so easily change in expectations, change in belief about what you want in your house, and it could very much just be check the freaking foundation, make sure there are no cracks in the physical foundation of the house that you have fallen in love with or one that you find. The Five of Wands is so much a bidding war when it comes to real estate. So to not answer the question and to say someone's out to get you is completely unhelpful, especially when this person came in with such a specific question. But I think that's where this hyper focus on questions came from, is all these people who came on, started reading tarot, and again, not a criticism because it's a wonderful tool, but did so in a way where they weren't actually answering questions. They were just kind of spewing whatever came out kind of based on the cards without context, without asking, without conversation, and most importantly, without actually listening to the query. Because to be quite honest with you, one of the biggest parts about being a tarot reader is listening. It's listening to what your client is asking, listening to what they say, but also really being aware of what they're not saying. Because people come to tarot with all sorts of different things and all sorts of different questions and queries. I remember when I was doing free readings online anonymously, I had somebody ask me, how can they manifest an anime girl in real life? And it's funny because when I got this question, I was like, How do I even answer this? What do I do with this question? And I decided I'm just gonna pull cards and see what comes out. I'll take it at face value, I'll interpret it in the best way that I can. And again, I don't really remember the reading, this was many, many years ago, but I do remember the Queen of Swords came out. And I remember laughing because that Queen of Swords is practical. She is honest with herself. And part of the reading was look, sir, you do need to be practical and reasonable in your expectations. Hoping that someone is going to embody an anime girl in the exact same way that you might see online, that's not human. And the best part of it was that he was actually very receptive to the message. I remember after I sent it, I was like, oh my goodness, he's gonna come back and be so disappointed that I can't tell him how to make this anime girl in real life. And he had a couple follow-up questions which were so lovely. And when I think about that, the question really wasn't how do I manifest an anime girl in real life? It was how do I make a connection with someone meaningful? How do I find love? And I really like that as an example because it shows that sometimes the way somebody will ask something isn't what they really mean or what they really want to know. And that was a long time ago before I had a more conversational tarot style. Like a conversational style took me a little bit of time to develop and to realize that no, this works for me and this is an okay way to read cards. So the fact that he replied and was willing to share a little bit more and have a bit more of a dialogue of like, okay, this is what I really want. How can I get there? Was really meaningful and a really big learning experience for me. It's probably why I still remember that one after all these years. I want to circle back to the yes-no questions as well. Again, if you've been learning tarot in any capacity, I'm sure you've seen many resources being like, you can't ask yes-no questions. It has to be open-ended. And I used to be firm on that. I was like the ride or die. You can't ask yes, no, it's not going to work with tarot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I've mellowed, I've changed my mind because I've practiced and I've experimented. Now I think at its core, a lot of people don't like doing yes-no questions because the answer kind of seems so final. And it always makes me think of the 50-50-90 rule, right? You have a 50-50% chance of getting it right, 90% chance you're gonna get it wrong, that kind of thing. And I think it really stems from a fear of being wrong. And I'm not someone who loves predictive readings because I don't believe the future's set in stone. I've done an episode about it, if you want to listen to that. So, of course, like a hard yes-no answer isn't really my thing, but we can still ask and answer yes-no questions using the tarot. There are ways to do it. Now, there are ways where it is a very yes-no answer cut and dry. It is what it is. But the way I do it is a little bit more flowy, a little bit more potential based, not set in stone based. And really just seeing how and where the energy flows. For me, it's more of a dialogue to discuss how things could turn out, how things could go, how we can get the result that we want to get, and is the result that we want possible? Is it going to be easy or is it going to be difficult? Because a lot of the time it actually isn't about yes or no. It's about the path to get there. If the answer is yes, is the path to get there easy? If it's a no, what are the circumstances surrounding that? Is it a no because it's so difficult that maybe it's not worth our energy? Is it a yes, but it's just going to repeat the same cycle over and over? There are so many different elements to a yes-no question that we can explore. And yes, shameless plug here, but in the tarot lab, we did a whole practice lab on yes-no questions. Different techniques to try to see what works for you, because the only way to really get good at tarot is to experiment and see what works for you. You don't have to read cards the same way everybody else does. You will find your own voice, you will find your own style, and that's why I built the tarot lab. It's to help people do that, to give them experiments and skills and tips and tricks and techniques to try and see what works for them. So when it comes to questions, if asking a specific question, if that works for you and you love doing that, by all means. But if you're someone who's more like me, it's okay if you don't. It's okay if you ask questions during the reading, it's okay if you shift focus to get to the heart of the matter. But I do think questions can be fun. They can be a really fun way to experiment with your cards, to see your cards in different ways in different lights and different lenses. So I'm not saying questions should be off the table. And I think too, if you do a lot of readings for yourself, you get tired of asking the same thing over and over. So spicing it up with different questions, different wordings can be quite refreshing. I do also have a free guide on my website, 140 questions for the cards. So if you are feeling like your questions are a little bit stale, go check out that guide. It has lots of different questions for different topics and a whole section on kind of fun and silly questions. Because yes, tarot can be deep and meaningful, but it should also be fun. Or what is the point? So I'm interested. When you started listening to this episode, how did you feel about the questions you ask the cards? And now that we're nearing the end, how do you feel about questions going forward? Not that I'm saying I'm here to change your mind, but I hope you're willing to experiment a little bit more and loosen the reins if you're someone who's been super strict. Remember that tarot is about the human experience. And we don't experience life through a strict and rigid lens. It's energy, it's intention, it's meaning, it's flow. And tarot can work the exact same way if that's how you want to use it. If you've enjoyed this week's episode, make sure you're following Beyond the Shuffle anywhere you love listening to podcasts or on YouTube. And if you want more tarot in your life, make sure you're following me on Instagram at AdrianAmari Tarot. And know that you can always come learn tarot with me at the tarot lab or book a one-on-one reading at adrianamari.com. So thank you for being here. And I would love to know what is your favorite question to ask the cards. Me personally, I don't think I have one. I'm very much a what do I need to know today? What's going on with this? Call me out on this kind of stuff, sort of person. But I'm curious if you have a go to question. So let me know if you do. And don't forget to stay open, stay curious, and I'll see you next week on Beyond the Shuffle.